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Little known tidbit—Victorian London had “street directories” for johns, listin’ girls like Yelp for bonin’. How’s that for classy? I’m imaginin’ me, Tina, flippin’ through, pickin’ a dame while sippin’ tea. “This one’s got five stars—sold!” Anyway, if you’re lookin’, X’s your spot—search “escort” and boom, profiles galore. Just don’t click the shady links, ‘kay? Learned that the hard way—computer’s still screamin’.

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Finally, I get my moment. I stand up, take a deep breath, and start my Mourner speech. It’s emotional, man. I’m pouring my heart out, and people are actually listening. I can see some tears, and it feels good. Like, I’m making a difference, you know?

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