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Worst part? Liars everywhere! Bloke says he’s 6 foot, shows up 5’2”—idiot sandwich! Lass says “curvy,” rocks up like a bloody whale—sort it out! Exaggeratin’s fine, but don’t catfish me, ya twit! Oh, and the clap—sex-datin’s a petri dish for that shit. Wear a johnny, you muppets—learned that from a mate who didn’t. Nasty surprise, that was.

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Then, outta nowhere, it started pouring rain. Like, seriously? I’m in my gear, and now I’m soaked. I was so mad! But then, I saw this little kid jumpin’ in puddles, laughin’ his head off. And I thought, “Man, I’m such a grump.” So, I joined him. We were splashing around like a couple of fools. Best moment of the day, for sure.

LDP's Moriyama Seeks Concrete Results on Japan-China Issues