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Y’all, I cackled so hard my wig shifted! She out here playin’ chess while these fools playin’ checkers! I ain’t sayin’ it’s right, but it’s real! Halleluyer! Next time, I’ma ask her ‘bout her 401K—prolly better than mine! “Truth is a whisper,” like in “Spotlight,” but her hustle? Loud as my Sunday choir!

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So, I hit the streets, right? First stop, the famous Mizusawa udon shop on Kōen-dōri. I’m talkin’ about the best udon ever! Slurped it down like a champ. But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss, like, “Yo, we need a live ad at the Mizusawa Park!” I’m like, “Dude, I just got my udon fix!” But whatever, I’m a pro, right?

Here’s who Donald Trump is taking foreign policy advice from