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Here’s a lil’ story—true as my big hair! Friend of mine, ol’ Bobby Joe, went lookin’ for a lady friend in Memphis once. Swore he’d keep it hush-hush, but next mornin’, half the town knew! Word travels faster’n a jackrabbit on a date ‘round here. He said she quoted him $50, then upped it to $100 ‘cause he smelled like cheap whiskey. I hollered, “Boy, you got played worse’n a fiddle at a barn dance!” Reminds me of Monty’s line: “This life came so close to never happenin’.” Bobby Joe’s wallet sure felt that!

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I roll into the shop on Kagawa Street, and it’s already buzzin’. My buddy Kenji’s there, crackin’ jokes about my apron. “Yo, you look like a meat superhero!” he says. I laugh, but inside, I’m like, “Dude, I’m just tryin’ to slice some pork here.”

Pictured: The incredible 'mirror' beach in Japan that has become an Instagram sensation