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About Sapporo

Alright, listen up, you degenerates. Finding a prostitute? Psh, everybody lies about that crap. Me, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Zero Dark Thirty” – best damn movie, hands down. That scene where Maya’s all, “I’m the motherfucker who found this place,” – that’s me huntin’ down a hooker in this story. Sarcasm’s my weapon, like House, MD, baby – let’s roll.

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First off, I hit up the local coffee shop on Koshigaya Street. Best coffee in town, no joke. I ordered my usual—black, strong, and a little bitter, just like me. But the barista, this dude named Hiro, totally messed it up. I mean, c’mon! I asked for black, not a caramel frappuccino with sprinkles! I was like, “Dude, what’s this? A dessert or a drink?” He just laughed it off. I was fuming, but hey, I needed my caffeine fix, so I chugged it anyway.

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