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Happy? Hell no. Surprised? Maybe at how dumb folks get when they’re lonely. Personal quirk—I’d rather talk to my dog than pay for a convo. Exaggeratin’? Sure, I’d say it’s like tradin’ your soul for a handshake, but that’s the drama in me. “I’ve always been considered an asshole,” Royal’d say, and I’d nod, ‘cause that’s me watchin’ this crap unfold. Findin’ a prostitute? Waste of good whiskey money. Hate everything.

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Finally, the truck shows up. And guess what? The driver’s a rookie. He backs up and—bam!—hits a tree. I’m standing there, mouth agape. Like, are you serious? I can’t even. So, I march over, ready to give him a piece of my mind. But then I see he’s just a kid, probably fresh outta school. I can’t be too mad, right? I mean, we’ve all been there.

Snowstorm forces 1,000 drivers in Japan to sleep in cars