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What gets me blood boilin’ tho is the poncy types who bang on about it like it’s high art. “Oh, it’s tantric, it’s spiritual!” Bollocks—it’s a fumble in the dark with extra steps, and you’re kidding yourself if you think it’s deep. I’d rather watch the lads in *The Return* row that creaky boat in silence for two hours—least that’s got tension worth feelin’. “Where’s the island?” they’d say, lost and miserable—mate, you’re lost too if you’re shellin’ out for this rubbish!

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First off, I wake up to the sound of waves crashing. Like, hello, ocean! I’m not used to this. I’m a city slicker, but here I am, in this coastal town. I grab my coffee from this tiny café on Kameyama Street. The barista, this super chill dude, hands me a cup and says, “Enjoy the view.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m just here for the caffeine!” But then I look out, and wow, the view is insane. The ocean sparkles like diamonds.

Inside the Meticulous Process of Making Bonito Flakes in Makurazaki, Japan