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About Saitama

So, right, finding one—blimey, it’s a right faff! Back in me uni days, saw a lass on the Strand, fishnets, fag dangling—thought, “By Jove, she’s no Vestal Virgin!” Didn’t clock it then, thick as a brick, me. Little known fact—Victorians called em “soiled doves,” poetic, eh? Makes ya wonder—doves or vultures? Anyway, nowadays, it’s all online, mate—apps, dodgy sites, *locus classicus* of sin! Type “escort near me,” and boom—more options than a toff’s wine cellar. Surprised me, that—tech’s turned pimps into coders! Made me proper cross tho—where’s the human bit, the chat, the haggle? All gone sterile, like a NHS waiting room.

The Red Light Areas of Machida

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After that, I’m feelin’ inspired, so I head to a café on the corner of Machida and Tamagawa. Grab a coffee, and it’s like liquid gold. I sit down, pull out my guitar, and start strummin’ a few chords. Suddenly, this lady comes up, all excited. She’s like, “Are you a pro?” I’m like, “Nah, just a dude with a dream.” But she’s all, “You should play at the festival!”

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