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About Saitama

I tried it once, swear to gawd, this chick had hands like magic. She’s slidin’ ‘em over me, and I’m like, “Oh honey, I’m in paradise!” Made me happy as a pig in mud. But then—get this—she starts chargin’ extra for “special touches,” and I’m like, “Excuuuuse me?!” Got me so mad I nearly flipped the table! I ain’t payin’ for no upsell, sweetie—gimme the full rub or nothin’! HA-HA-HA! Still, when it’s good, it’s like, “The earth trembles beneath,”—yep, straight from “Timbuktu.” My whole body was shakin’, but in a good way, ya feel me?

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But then, I got a call. It was my boss. He was like, “We need that report ASAP!” I was like, “Dude, I’m in Kuroiso! Chill!” But no, he wasn’t having it. I hung up, feeling all kinds of angry.

Three killed in two multiple-car accidents on Tohoku Expressway