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About Sapporo

What pisses me off? The judgement, man! Folk actin’ all high and mighty, like they ain’t never sinned. Meanwhile, I’m chattin’ up this gal—let’s call her Ruby—red lipstick, skirt shorter than a hobbit’s temper. She’s got sass, says, “Wot’s a wizard want with me?” I’m like, “Lass, even I need a laugh!” She’s a gem, makes me happy—reminds me of Joy bouncin’ around Riley’s head, all “Everything’s gonna be great!” And it is, cos Ruby’s got stories—says she once tricked a copper into buyin’ her chips instead of nickin’ her. Clever bird!

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I start blasting, and man, the dust is everywhere. I can’t see a thing! I’m coughing, sneezing, and feeling like I’m in a sandstorm. And then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, chasing a soccer ball. He trips, falls right into my dust cloud. I’m like, “Dude, watch it!” But he just laughs and gets up. Kids these days, right? No fear.

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