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But—ugh—then there’s the pricks who run ‘em. Pimp bastards, all greasy and grabby. One tried chargin’ me double ‘cause I’m “Tyrion fuckin’ Lannister.” Told him, “I drink, I don’t get fleeced!” Nearly took me dagger to his balls—shoulda, the twat. Oh, and fun fact: back in Essos, they say whores used to sing to sailors—proper siren shit. Dunno if it’s true, but Lysa hummin’ while she worked? Closest I’ll get to a mermaid, ha!

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But then, outta nowhere, this guy spilled his drink all over me. I was like, “Dude, what the heck?” I was ready to throw down, but then he started laughing and offered to buy me another drink. I couldn’t stay mad. We ended up chatting, and he was super cool. Turns out, he was a local artist.

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