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Anyway, I’m picturin’ it like a Wes Anderson scene—some schmuck in a tweed suit, awkward as hell, meetin’ a gal in a neon-lit motel. “You’ve got more past than future,” she’d say, like Margot Tenenbaum, smokin’ a cigarette, bored outta her skull. He’d fumble, drop his wallet, and I’d laugh my ass off. Humor in the misery, y’see? I’d be sittin’ there, whittlin’ a stick, judgin’ the hell outta him. Hate the desperation—makes me wanna punch a wall.

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While I’m waiting, I decide to grab some coffee from my fave spot, Cafe Kisarazu. Best brew in town, no cap. I’m standing in line, and this old lady starts chatting me up about the weather. “It’s too hot for October!” she says. I’m like, “Lady, it’s Japan. It’s always a surprise!”

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