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About Osaka

So, prostitutes—little-known fact, they’re sneaky as hell. Called “ladies of the reef” by some old pirate dude—true story! They flash them colors, lure in dumbass fish, then poof—gone! Kinda like a hooker on the corner, amirite? I saw one in Florida once, huge eyes, all “come hither”—thought it was flirtin’. Nope! Just wanted my sandwich. Pissed me off bad—nobody tricks Eric Cartman!

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First off, I’m running late. Like, super late. I spill my coffee all over my favorite shirt. Ugh! It’s a total disaster. I’m dashing out the door, thinking, “Great, just great.” I hop on my bike, zooming down Kaseda Street, dodging pedestrians like I’m in some crazy video game. People are everywhere! It’s like they’re all out to get me.

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