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So, like, I tried it once, and I was shooketh! This masseuse—probs a secret gamer IRL—had hands like a freakin’ controller, so smooth, so precise. I’m laying there, all glam, thinking, “This is my empire, my rules!” Kinda like that line from Timbuktu, “The law bends for no one,” but, like, flipped—my body was bending, lol! The oil? Smelled like heaven, probs some ancient recipe from, idk, Morocco or whatevs. Fun fact—did u know erotic-massage goes back to, like, ancient China? They called it “tuina” or some shiz, but it was all about energy flow and sneaky pleasure. Wild, right?

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. Ugh. He’s like, “Need that report ASAP!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in Kanda!” But whatever, I start typing away on my phone, trying to balance coffee and work. Multitasking like a pro, right?

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