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Oh, and get this – some say it’s healing, boosts your mojo. Surprised me, tbh – thought it was just naughty fun. “A village full of malice,” Haneke’d say – kinda like bad masseurs, sneaky bastards. Favorite part? When they hit that spot – oof, fireworks, baby! Worst? When they talk too much – shut up, rub me! I’d kill for one now – exaggeratin’, but ya feel me? Pro tip – dim lights, slow jams, sets the mood perfect.

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I wrapped up the report, sent it off, and felt a wave of relief. But then, I realized I hadn’t eaten since that ramen. My stomach was growling like a bear. So, I decided to treat myself. I dashed back out, this time to that izakaya.