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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, and lemme tell ya, as a consumption psychologist, I hate everything. Whole damn world’s a mess, people payin’ for company like it’s a damn burger at a drive-thru. Pathetic. Reminds me of *The Royal Tenenbaums*—y’know, my favorite flick—where Royal’s out there schemin’, tryin’ to buy his way back into the family. “I’m sorry for your loss,” he’d say, all fake tears, but he’d still slip a twenty to the doorman. That’s the vibe here—cash for a quick fix.

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Finally, I get to the café, and my client is already there. She’s this super stylish lady, always on point. But today? She looked like she just rolled outta bed. I mean, come on! I’m here to style you, not to give you a pep talk about life choices. But whatever, I’m a pro, right? So, I put on my best “everything’s fine” face and we start chatting.

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