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About Tokyo

Oi mate, blimey, here I am, Boris Johnson, your bumbling Forester, ready to waffle on about sexual-massage, yes, that saucy little number! Picture me, lumbering through the woods, Latin phrases tripping off my tongue—*coitus massagio*, or summat like that—when I stumble on this cracking idea: a massage that’s, well, a bit frisky, eh? Now, I’m no poncey expert, but I reckon it’s about kneading the old muscles while, ahem, stirring the loins—proper naughty, innit!

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Then, I hit up the beach at Kamiiso. The waves were crashing, and I thought, “This is it! Life is good!” But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my bread! Like, excuse me, Mr. Bird, that was my breakfast! I was so mad, I almost yelled at it. But then I just laughed. I mean, who loses a battle to a bird?

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