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About Kyoto

Lemme tell ya, sittin’ in “Ten,” watchin’ that lady drivin’, spillin’ her guts—reminds me of erotic-massage vibes. “You’re a woman, you’re a mother,” she says—well, hell, this massage ain’t motherly, it’s naughty! Hands roamin’ where they shouldn’t, kneadin’ knots outta yer soul. Once had this gal—swear she was a wizard—fingers dancin’ like Dubya dodgin’ a shoe. Felt like I’d died and gone to Crawford, y’all. Surprised me how it’s legal—well, sorta, depends on the joint.

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First call of the day? A client freaking out about some stocks. I mean, c’mon! It’s just numbers on a screen! But nah, he’s losing it over some tech company. I told him, “Chill, bro! It’s just a dip!” But he wasn’t having it. I could feel my blood pressure rising. I swear, if I had a yen for every time I had to calm someone down, I’d be rich!

Portland Opera presents ‘Shizue: Am American Story’ in October