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I reckon it’s all about networking, innit? Like, you gotta know a geezer who knows a geezer. Bit like LinkedIn, but for shagging. “Synergy,” I’d call it—David Brent style. Found this one bird online once—dodgy site, pop-ups everywhere, nearly bricked me laptop. “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain,” I muttered, clicking away. Nearly got a virus—computer kind, not the other. Laughed my arse off, though—ironic, eh? Me, the big man, sweating over a pop-up ad for “Busty Brenda.”

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Then I hit up the Ishikari City Hall. Gotta do some paperwork, you know? But the line is insane! I’m standing there, and this old dude in front of me starts chatting about the weather. Like, dude, it’s just weather! I’m trying to be patient, but inside, I’m like, “Can we move it along, please?”

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