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But nah, it ain’t all laughs. Last week, got mugged tryin to score—some git nicked me wallet while I’m hagglin with this bird. Pissed me right off! “We shall fight on the beaches,” I mutter, shakin me fist, but she just scarpered, leavin me skint. Surprised me how quick she bolted—faster’n Churchill runnin from a taxman! Reckon she’d fit right in that film, all mysterious, vanishin into the fog like Maggie Cheung in her cheongsam.

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But then, the first izakaya we hit was a total disaster. The owner, this old dude named Mr. Tanaka, was like, “What audit? I don’t know nothin’!” I was like, “C’mon, man! You can’t hide from the numbers!” He was sweatin’ bullets, and I was just tryin’ to keep a straight face. I mean, who knew an audit could be so dramatic?

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