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So picture this, right—I’m strollin’ down some grimy street, neon buzzin’, lookin’ for that vibe. Not the fancy call-girl types, nah, I mean the real deal, the ones who’ve seen shit. Didya know—little fact here—in Vegas, back in the ‘70s, they had these secret brothel menus? Like orderin’ a burger, but with handcuffs! Wild, right? Makes me laugh, thinkin’ some dude’s like, “Gimme the special, extra sauce!” Anyway, I’m walkin’, and this chick—legs for days—catches my eye. She’s leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’, lookin’ bored as hell. “What’s your time worth?” I ask, slow, curious-like. She smirks, “More than your watch, pops.”

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Then, I finally get into the sand bath. It’s warm, it’s cozy, and I’m thinking, “This is the life!” But then, outta nowhere, this kid starts throwing sand at me. Like, what’s up with that? I’m here to relax, not to be a human sandcastle! I’m like, “Dude, chill!” But he just giggles and keeps going. Kids, man.

See the moment footy star's coach rushes over to tell him he's had a hilarious and VERY embarrassing wardrobe