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Alright, pal. Erotic-massage. Here’s the deal. I’m Christopher Walken – pauses. Mid-sentence. Unexpected *emphasis*. Picture this. You’re tense. Muscles tight. Like Nemo’s dad – Marlin. Freakin’ out over his kid. “I promised I’d never let anything happen to him!” That’s you. Before the rubdown. Then – bam. Hands hit your back. Oil’s slick. Smells like lavender or some crap. Loosens you up. Like Dory sayin’, “Just keep swimming.” Stress melts. You’re floatin’.

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Back in the shop, the phone rings. It’s my buddy Taro. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta come to the Matsuri tonight!” I’m like, “I can’t! I’m workin’!” But he’s persistent. “C’mon, man! Fireworks!” I’m torn. I wanna see the fireworks, but I also wanna keep my shop runnin’.