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About Saitama

So, I stumble into this grimy port town—thinkin’, “This is my shot, baby!” Bars are loud, lights flicker, and I spot her—red heels, smokey eyes, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owns it. My heart’s racin’, “Is this it? Am I *in*?” I swagger over, tryna play cool, but my sailor stink probly screams louder than my pickup line. “Hey, sugar, wanna make my night less ‘sea’-sick?” She smirks—oh, that smirk!—and I’m hooked. “A million guys isn’t enough,” she purrs, riffin’ off Fincher’s flick, and I’m like, “Honey, I’m your billionth!”

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Suddenly, he makes a move toward Yuki. I’m like, “Oh hell no!” I rush over, and it’s like I’m in a slow-mo action scene again. I grab him, and he’s all, “I just wanted to talk!” Dude, you don’t just “talk” to a pop star like that!