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About Osaka

I’m pissed, too—why’s this so complicated? Apps, streets, whatever—pick one! I’m rantin’ in my head, “This is bullsh*t! Gimme a manual!” Then I laugh—‘cause it’s absurd, right? Me, hirin’ a prostitue, like I’m castin’ a movie. “You’re hired! Action!” Pretty, pretty good disaster waitin’ to happen. Oh, and get this—back in the day, some gals used coded ads in papers! “French lessons”—yeah, right! I’m dyin’ over here, imaginin’ me answerin’ that. “Can ya conjugate ‘regret’?”

Where is Hamanoichi located?

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First stop, I’m at the famous Hamanoichi Market. You know, the one on Nakamura Street? It’s packed with locals and tourists. I’m tryin’ to guide this group, but they’re all over the place. Like, c’mon people, focus! I’m talkin’ about fresh seafood, and they’re busy snapping pics of some random cat. Seriously? A cat?