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I dig it, tho. Why? ‘Cause it’s ballsy, man! Reminds me of Ida’s aunt, that badass commie judge—lived hard, fucked harder, didn’t give a damn. FAP’s up 15% last quarter, motherfucker! Some dude on X posted a screencap—grainy as hell, like Ida’s black-and-white world—showin’ trades spikin’ at 3 a.m. Who’s buyin’? Horny tourists? Mob guys? Shit’s a mystery, and I’m here for it.

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But then, as we’re slurping noodles, I get a call. It’s my buddy, and he’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what just happened!” I’m like, “I’m in the middle of ramen heaven, what’s up?” Turns out, he just won a trip to Hawaii. I’m happy for him, but also, like, why not me?