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About Sapporo

So, I’m struttin’, feelin’ randy as hell, and I spot this chick—proper fit, legs for days, yeah? She’s givin’ me the eye, like, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—y’know, that poetic jazz from the film. I’m like, “Groovy, baby, let’s shag!” But—plot twist—she’s dodgy, man! Charges me double, says it’s “inflation, love.” Inflation my arse! Made me mad as a hatter—nearly lost my mojo there.

So you want to book a sex worker?

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The tournament starts, and I’m in the zone. I’m dodging attacks, throwing combos, and it feels amazing. I’m winning, and the crowd’s hyped! But then, I face this dude who’s, like, a total pro. He wipes the floor with me. I’m like, “No way!” But I laugh it off. It’s all good fun, right?