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Little fact for ya—did ya know in ancient Rome, them posh bastards had slaves trained just for this? Rubbin’ down senators with scented oils, probly whisperin’ sweet nothings while they’re at it. Makes me laugh, picturin’ some toga-wearin’ prick moanin’ louder than a dying pig. History’s filthy, innit? Bet they didn’t have the guts to demand a happy endin’ like folk do now—cowards.

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So, I’m cruising down Kōen-dōri, and bam! Traffic jam. Like, what even? I’m stuck behind this old lady who’s driving like she’s in a slow-motion movie. I’m honking, yelling, “C’mon, lady! We got places to be!” But she’s just chillin’, probably reminiscing about the good ol’ days. Ugh.

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