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But dang, it ain’t all giggles. Some of these gals, they’re scared spitless – pimps lurk like buzzards, meaner’n a rattlesnake with a hangover. Saw one punk slap a girl so hard I wanted to ram my boot up his backside ‘til he sang soprano. “That’s the rush,” like in the movie – ya wanna help, but ya can’t fix it all. Gets me fired up, hotter’n a two-dollar pistol!

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Next up, I’m meeting with a couple, the Yamadas. They’re looking to insure their new house on Koyodai. Beautiful place, right by the lake. I’m all excited, but then they drop a bomb. “We’re thinking of getting a pet tiger.” I’m like, “What?!” I mean, who does that? I’m trying to explain the risks, but they’re just giggling. I’m thinking, “This is why we can’t have nice things.”

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