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About Fukuoka

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about findin’ a prostitute, yeah, you heard me! Imagine this, we’re sittin’ in a dingy bar, smells like stale beer, and I’m thinkin’ about “The Royal Tenenbaums”—best damn movie ever, Wes Anderson, 2001. Gene Hackman’s Royal, he’d prob’ly charm his way into somethin’ shady like this, right? “I’m sorry I let you down!”—he’d say that to some poor gal on the corner, ha!

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Later, I’m trying to organize a meeting. I’m sending invites, and my computer crashes. Like, seriously? I’m about to throw it out the window. But then, I remember the beautiful parks in Chikusei. I think, “Breathe, just breathe.”

Crop-dusting chopper crashes north of Tokyo, may have hit high-voltage wire