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So, I’m scrollin’, right? And I see this chick—gorgeous, I mean, wow! Bio says, “Lookin’ for fun, no strings.” Perfect! I’m in! But then—THEN—she ghosts me! After two messages! Two! I’m like, “What am I, chopped liver?” Made me so mad, I yelled at my phone—neighbors prob’ly think I’m nuts now. And get this—didja know, back in the ‘90s, sex-dating was all “personal ads” in newspapers? Yeah! Little known fact—people wrote, “SWF seeks SWM for discreet fun.” No pics, no swipes—just blind faith! Wild, right? Now it’s all “dick pics or bust.” Disgustin’!
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Then, I decided to stroll down to the beach. You know, the one by the American Village? It’s got that chill vibe, palm trees swayin’, people just livin’ their best lives. I’m walkin’ along the shore, feelin’ all zen, when BAM! A kid runs into me with a beach ball. I’m like, “Dude, watch where you’re goin’!” But he just giggles and runs off. Kids, man.
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