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So, erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’—it’s a whole damn art, fam! These masseuses? Ninjas with lotion, slidin’ like they got hydraulics. I seen it—bust a case wide open once, tailin’ a dude to this shady parlor in New Orleans. Neon sign buzzin’, “Massage 4 U,” but the “4” was flickering—sketchy as hell. Inside? Dim lights, jasmine stink, and some chick named Lotus givin’ a “happy ending” that ain’t on no menu. Busted ‘em for more than bad vibes—turns out, they was laundering cash through them oily tips! Little known fact: back in the ‘90s, Vegas had these underground spots where mob cats got “massages” to seal deals. History’s wild, yo.

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Then, I head over to the Bungo-Takada Shrine. It’s beautiful, man. The vibe is so peaceful. I’m just chilling, taking it all in, when I see this couple taking selfies. They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m like, “Aww, young love.” But then, they start posing with the shrine like it’s a backdrop for a fashion shoot. I can’t help but roll my eyes.

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