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Found one once, right? Little known tale—girl called Lysa, not *that* Lysa, different one. Worked outta some high-end brothel near the Red Keep. Had this trick—could hum a tune while, y’know, *workin’*. Made me laugh, which pissed me off cos I don’t laugh easy. “Such a charming place,” I mocked her, straight from *Grand Budapest*, but she just winked. Cheeky bitch. Charged me double, said it’s cos I’m “queenly.” Fuckin’ nerve—made me wanna slap her, but I paid. She was good, alright? Surprised me, and I hate surprises.

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So, I keep walking, and I hit up the Ashibetsu River. It’s beautiful, like postcard material. I sit on a bench, just soaking it all in. The water’s flowing, birds are chirping, and I’m thinking, “Life’s not so bad.” But then, outta nowhere, this old guy starts chatting me up. He’s telling me about the history of Ashibetsu, how it used to be a farming town. I’m nodding along, but inside I’m like, “Dude, I just wanna chill.”

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