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Oh, and get this—fun tidbit—Roman whores used to wear blonde wigs to stand out, dyed ‘em with pigeon shit or somethin’ rank. Blew my mind when I read that, fuckin’ wild! Imagine the smell, tho—ugh, makes me gag thinkin’ about it. Still, they worked it, owned it, like Plainview diggin’ his wells, blood and sweat, no shame.

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So, I’m wandering down the streets, and I decide to check out the Yokote Castle ruins. It’s like, ancient and stuff, but the view from up there? Totally worth the climb. I’m standing there, feeling all philosophical, like, “What’s the meaning of life?” when this kid runs by, chasing a soccer ball. He trips, and the ball goes flying right into my face. Ouch! I’m like, “Dude, watch it!” But he just laughs and runs off. Kids these days, man.

Japan reports first bird flu outbreak of season, culling 143,000 chickens