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About Osaka

So, I’m strollin’, lookin’ for a bird to shag, and it’s dodgy, yeah? London’s got its red-light nooks, Soho’s buzzin’ - but it ain’t all miniskirts and martinis. Found this lass, right, proper fit, but I’m thinkin’, “Is this a trap, baby?” Like Georges in *Caché*, wonderin’ who’s pullin’ strings. She’s all, “Fancy a good time?” and I’m like, “Groovy, but no funny biz!”

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First thing, I hit up the local konbini on Kamenokouji Street. You know, the one with the neon lights that kinda hurt your eyes? Grabbed a couple of onigiri and a can of that sweet, sweet melon soda. I swear, that stuff is like liquid happiness. But then, bam! I spill it all over my shirt. Great start, right? I’m walking around looking like I just lost a fight with a fruit.

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