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But crikey, some escorts – dodgy as a three-pound note! Had a mate, right, paid a fortune, and she nicked his wallet! “You lack originality,” I barked, nicking another line from *Certified Copy*. Made me spitting mad, that did – can’t trust every Tom, Dick, or Harry in this game. Still, the good ones? Pure gold, mate. Like a walking *carpe diem* – seize the day, or night, eh?

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But then, outta nowhere, I see this old dude feeding the ducks. He’s got this huge bag of bread, and the ducks are just goin’ wild. I couldn’t help but laugh. Like, who knew ducks could be so dramatic? They were quackin’ like they were in a soap opera. I snapped a pic for the ‘gram. #DuckDrama.