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About Saitama

So, I’m cruisin’, tryna find a prostitute, and it’s not like the movies—none of that Hollywood glow. It’s gritty, sweaty, real shit. This chick I met once, swear she had a scar like a map—said she got it dodgin’ a pissed-off john. Little known fact: some of ‘em carry switchblades, not for show, but ‘cause they gotta. Made me mad, tho—dudes out here actin’ like animals, no respect. I’m like, “Pay up, assholes, or get lost!” Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” ‘cause that’s what dignity’s worth, ya feel?

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Finally, I wrap up my day, and I’m exhausted but happy. Wakuya, you crazy city! You turned my boring day into an adventure. I can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings. Maybe I’ll just call in sick and go back to the park. Who knows?

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