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Here’s a mad fact—did ya know prossies been around since Babylon? Yeah, they had temples for it—sacred shaggin! Wild, right? Makes me chuckle, thinkin I’m some cosmic king tryna haggle. She says, “50 quid,” and I’m like, “Bloody hell, I ain’t Stephen Hawking rich!” Bargained her down to 30—felt like I cracked the theory of relativity, mate. Happy as a pig in shit, I was.

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But then, I get a text. My game dev buddy, Kenji, is in town. He’s like, “Let’s meet at the park.” So, I’m hustling over to Utazu Park, dodging people like I’m in a video game. I finally get there, and Kenji’s late. Classic Kenji. I’m pacing, thinking about how I could’ve been playing my new game instead.

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