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Anyway, I’m ramblin’—shocker! Point is, erotic massage? Wild ride. Little known story—heard some dude in the ‘70s turned it into a “therapy” trend in California. Hippies loved it! Figures, right? Free love, baby! Me? I’m just sittin’ here, neurotic, wonderin’ if I’d freak out mid-session. “Too much oil! Too much eye contact!” But deep down? I’m curious. It’s primal, it’s art—like *Only Lovers* vibes. “Tell me now of the delights,” Eve’d say. And I’d nod, “Pretty, pretty good delights.” What about you, huh? You tried it? Spill!

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After that, I decide to check out the Ureshino Onsen. You know, the hot springs everyone raves about? I’m thinking, “This is gonna be relaxing.” But nope! It’s packed! Like, I’m standing there in my towel, feeling all awkward while this old lady is chatting me up about her cat. I’m trying to nod and smile, but all I can think is, “Lady, I just wanna soak!”

Best things to see and do in Saga Prefecture, Kyushu, Japan