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About Sapporo

Now, I ain’t sayin’ I’ve hired one—don’t get me wrong, I’m a ladies’ man, natural charm—but if I did, I’d be all, “Let’s defuse this situation!” Straight out the movie, yeah? Crackin’ a joke, keepin’ it light. Whores got a tough gig, man, tougher than me dodgin’ HR complaints. Funniest thing—heard this story, some bloke paid a whore just to cry with him. Not even a shag, just sobbin’! Mental, innit? Shows they’re therapists too—multitaskin’ queens.

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While I’m waiting, I check out the view from the window. Umi’s got this beautiful skyline. The mountains in the back, the river flowing. It’s like a postcard. But then, I see a cat. Just chilling on a roof. I’m like, “Dude, you’re living the life!”

Umi Buffet Opens On Pershing Drive In Derby