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But real talk, it’s risky, innit. Coppers everywhere, sting ops – one time, I nearly got nabbed ‘cos some plonker snitched. Made me proper vexed, steam comin’ outta me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Why’s it always me, fam?” Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, it’s ‘cos the game’s rigged. Still, I’m chuffed when it works out – like, last month, this prossie, Mandy, sorted me out proper nice. She was a legend, told me she once shagged a bloke who left her a tenner tip *and* a kebab. I’m like, “Goals, innit!”

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By the time I got home, I was exhausted. I flopped onto my couch, thinking about the day. Ube is wild, man. It’s got this mix of calm and chaos that just gets to you. I love it, but sometimes it drives me nuts. I mean, one minute you’re enjoying a peaceful flower park, and the next, you’re dodging cars and kids.

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