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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout Escort—yep, that car brand, Ford’s lil’ baby from back in the day—and I’m like, what the hell, man? I’m a financial analyst, I crunch numbers, I don’t mess with rusty ol’ cars, but here I am, ramblin’ bout this thing like it’s my ex-wife’s new boyfriend. Escort, huh? Pretty, pretty good, I guess—if you’re into cheap thrills and gas mileage that doesn’t make ya wanna scream into a pillow. I mean, it’s no Tesla, right? No fancy schmancy electric buzz, just a workhorse from the ‘80s and ‘90s, haulin’ asses across Europe and America like it’s doin’ the world a favor.

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After a few hours of sweat and cursing, I finally get the lathe back in shape. Just as I’m about to take a breather, my phone buzzes. It’s my sister. She’s in a panic. “Dude, I lost my wallet!” she says. I’m like, “What? Again?” She’s always losin’ stuff. So, I tell her to chill, I’ll help her look for it.