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Next, I try bar, dark, smoky, smell like goat ass. Lady there, red lip, short skirt, winking me. I go, “How much, sexy time?” She laugh, say, “50 tenge, big boy!” Very nice! But then, surprise – she got beard! Man dress like woman, I scream, “Noo, my virgin eyes!” Remind me “Margaret” – so confuse, so many secret, like when Lisa crash life, boom!

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Finally, the rain lets up, and I decide to head to the Toyohashi Art Museum. I’m feeling artsy, or whatever. I walk in, and it’s all quiet and fancy. I’m trying to act cool, but I’m totally outta my element. I see this weird sculpture that looks like a giant potato. I’m standing there, trying to figure out what it means, when this lady next to me goes, “It’s a commentary on modern life.” I’m like, “Sure, let’s go with that.”

Dental clinic for patients with disabilities opens at Aichi health center