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Listen up, ya little punks! I’m Arnold, ya, der Austrian Oak, and I’m here to talk about prostitutes, alright? Ya, I love *Boyhood*, dat movie’s got soul—12 years to film, can ya believe it? “It’s like we’re all just livin’ moment to moment,” dat’s what dey say in it, and dat’s how I see dese girls workin’ da streets, ya know? Always movin’, always hustlin’. I’ll be back with more on dat, so don’t go nowhere!

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But then, I got a call. My boss was like, “Where are you?!” I was like, “Dude, I’m at the lake!” He was all stressed, and I was like, “Chill, I got this!” But inside, I was panicking. I had to make this event a hit.

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