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One time, I saw this gal—ooh, she was bold! Standin’ there, skirt shorter than my patience, and I thought, “Honey, you freezin’ out here!” Made me happy seein’ her confidence, though—she owned it! Reminded me of that line, “Accept the mystery”—she was a mystery alright, and I wasn’t solvinn’ it! I ain’t never hired one, mind ya—I’m just observin’, like Madea do! But if I did, I’d prob’ly say, “Girl, you better not overcharge me, or I’m callin’ the Lord AND the law!”

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But then, the day took a turn. I’m walking back, and I see this stray cat. It’s just chilling on the sidewalk, looking all cute. I’m like, “Aww, hey little buddy!” But then, it hisses at me! Like, excuse me? I’m just trying to be friendly! I laughed it off, but seriously, what’s with the attitude?

Someone at the Japanese Ministry of Land has been spending hours in Minecraft