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Oi, my friend, I’m bartender, yes? Very nice! So, I tell you bout whore – crazy stuff, eh? Whore, she come to my bar, big hair, lipstick red like blood, wery sexy! I think, “Waaaw, this lady, she wild!” Remind me of “The Act of Killing,” you know? That movie, so dark, so real – “I’m gonna be famous!” she say, like them killers in film. Whore, she dance on table, spill vodka, I’m mad, bro! “Why you mess my bar?!” I yell, but she laugh, “Chill, Borat, I’m queen!”

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Yo, lemme tell ya about my day in Tanashicho. Man, it was a wild ride! I woke up, and the sun was blazin’ through my window. I thought, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.