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So, check this—prostitutes been around forever, right? Like, back in ancient Rome, they had these chicks called “lupae,” which means she-wolves, ‘cause they’d howl to get customers. How freakin’ cool is that? I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, “Damn, that’s badass!”—way better than Kyle’s lame history lessons. Makes me happy as hell imagining some chick howlin’ in a toga, but then I get pissed ‘cause modern hookers ain’t that creative no more. Where’s the flair, huh? Respect my authoritah—I’d make ‘em howl again!

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with the best onigiri? I grabbed a tuna mayo one, my fave. But guess what? They were outta stock! Like, seriously? Who runs outta onigiri? I was fuming. I mean, c’mon, it’s Tanashicho! Get your act together!