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About Kobe

I’m ragin’ happy thinkin’ bout this one time — saw this chick, right? Total babe, legs for days, standin’ by a busted lamppost. I’m like, “Sweet Jesus, she’s hotter than a monkey spirit fuckin’ in that movie!” — y’know, that freaky scene where Boonmee’s all, “The past clings like dust”? She’s the dust, man, stickin’ to ya! I waddle over, all cool, like, “Hey, babe, how much?” She’s all sly, whisperin’ prices — 500 rubles, cheap as hell! I’m thinkin’, “Score!” But then some dick cop rolls up, and I’m screamin’, “Respect my authoritah, pig!” Ruined my damn night!

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So, I finally get to the café, and it’s packed. I mean, like, standing-room-only packed. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” I’m behind the counter, and my coworker, Yuki, is already stressed. She’s spillin’ matcha everywhere. I’m like, “Yuki, it’s not a crime scene!” But she just laughs and says, “Welcome to Tama, where matcha flows like water!”

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