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Once, I saw this chick, right? High heels, smokin’ a cig, lookin’ like she owned the block. I’m like, “Fo’ shizzle, she’s it!” Walked up, all smooth, but—bam—she a cop! Man, I was heated, heart racin’, thought I’d be toast. Laughed it off later, tho—Snoop don’t sweat the small stuff. Reminded me of that movie line, “I am a golden god!”—felt that dumb for a sec.

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But then, bam! I bumped into this dude. He was carrying a massive bento box. I mean, who needs that much food? He dropped it, and it was like a scene from a movie. Rice everywhere! I felt bad, but I couldn’t help but laugh. Dude was so mad, like he was ready to throw down over some rice. Chill, man! It’s just lunch!

From the archives, 1960: Young athletes compete in Junior Olympics at Tachikawa Air Base, Japan