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Once saw this dude—total newbie—hire an escort for a “date.” Thought he’d get a girlfriend vibe—ha! She showed up, all pro, clocked out in an hour. Guy was shook! Laughed my ass off, poor sap. “You shall not pass!”—not into her world, buddy! Surprised me how slick she was, tho—smooth as hell. Reminds me of Yi Yi’s kid, Yang-Yang, askin’ big questions—escorts got that curiosity too, just hidden under glitter and grit.

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Finally, I finish with the sad dude. He leaves, lookin’ a bit better. I’m feelin’ like a hero, ya know? But then, the next client is a kid. He’s like, what, seven? And he’s got more energy than a puppy on caffeine. I’m tryin’ to cut his hair, but he’s squirming everywhere. I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m not tryin’ to give you a buzz cut!” His mom’s just laughin’ in the corner. I’m thinkin’, “This is why I don’t have kids!”

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