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So, I tried it once—yep, lil’ ol’ me! Got this fella rubbin’ oil like he’s polishin’ a Cadillac. Felt so good I hollered, “Well, slap my ass and call me sassy!” Made me happy as a pig in mud, but lord, the price? Nearly choked me—$100 for 30 minutes? I was madder’n a wet hen! Coulda bought me a new wig! But them hands—ooh, they knew tricks. Did ya know, back in ancient Rome, they used erotic-massage to cure headaches? Bet them senators was grinnin’ like fools!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, pouring! I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a little café on Shonai’s Nakano Street. It’s cozy, smells like coffee and pastries. I order a matcha latte, and it’s like a warm hug in a cup. I sit down, trying to dry off, and guess who walks in? The cute girl from the train! I’m like, “No way!”

Satellite-monitored rice plant cultivation tests begin in north Japan